DISCLAIMER: EVERYTHING IN THIS ARTICLE IS COMPLETELY MADE UP WHICH MEANS IT IS NOT TRUE. THIS WAS NOT MEANT IN ANY WAY TO HAVE A NEGATIVE IMPACT ON JOE DE SENA, SPARTAN, CRAFT, ISAIAH VIDAL, OR ANYONE ELSE. WE HOPE YOU GET A GOOD LAUGH!
Many in the Spartan community are wondering what's happening with Joe De Sena. We've been relentlessly reaching out to those within corporate Spartan and we've finally gotten the inside scoop.
You may have seen social media posts on the Spartan Instagram page several weeks ago about finding a new Spartan CEO. Spartan and Joe did an excellent job making it seem playful and fun but there is a sad truth behind it.
It seems that Joe De Sena has gone "a bit nutty". We had a chance to speak with someone from inside Spartan who said "It all seemed to start a few months ago during a brain storming meeting. Joe went on and on about replacing parking and baggage fees with 30 burpees for each and filling the buckets with Osmium. We all laughed at first..... but he seemed to get frustrated at our response so we decided to end the meeting early with our usual ground shaking AROO AROO AROO! " Our source went on to explain how, in the upcoming weeks, Joe would start showing more very odd behavior. "He is often known to carry a kettlebell with him, but he starting taking it with him EVERYWERE. Joe would take it on car rides buckled into the passenger seat next to him, he made a small bed for it next to his night stand, he even was seen asking it for advice on super serious business topics." Joe was seen on multiple occasions running up to random pedestrians to talk to them about his kettlebell.
"Maybe we should have acted sooner but we just couldn't believe something like this could happen to Joe."
The situation took a dramatic turn for the worst as Spartan was preparing to release their brand new OCR shoe. If you watch their video release, everything seems fine and dandy but it's what happened behind the scenes that has the Spartan community concerned. "We asked Isaiah to go for a run to put the shoes to the test but right as he was leaving, Joe got his backhoe and drove it toward Isaiah. In an effort to escape, the shoes flew off Isaiah's feet and Joe ended up crushing them. This happened multiple times with different vehicles......Then, later that night, Joe said he was hungry so he tied the shoes to a weight and threw them into salt water overnight so that he could catch some crabs...."
The future of Joe De Sena as Spartan CEO is clouded to say the least. But the entire Spartan community is rooting for him and we hope he can find his way!